Saratoga Saga

Ever had that feeling? You know, the one that lets you know IF something can go wrong … it WILL. Keep that in mind as you read.

Some of you may not be familiar with my travel-adventure stories – so here’s some background. When I travel, Bad things happen. I mean, real BAD. I usually end up in situations that require my expert sense of direction and navigation skills. Last week, I needed my Native American tracking and trail blazing skill.

You see, it all started with three girls and a guy who decided to take a Spring Break trip to Disney World – the one in Orlando, not the little pretend one in Cali.

Fast forward to after the drive to Orlando. So, here we are … walking across Hotel Plaza Blvd toward the Downtown Disney bus stop. Since we were the only ones there, one of the drivers took us to EPCOT in a van. We talked about all kinds of things as he drove and finally he told us to take the Disney bus to Saratoga Springs when we’re ready to leave the park. Apparently, there are some busses that go to the parks and others to the hotels. He said it would be easier to get to our non-Disney hotel by taking the bus to Saratoga and walking across the street. Sounds easy, right?

Now we have to fast forward … Again. It’s about 8 pm and we’re eating dinner at the Brown Derby in the park formerly known as MGM. I think it’s now called Hollywood Studios. How’d we get here from EPCOT? Simple, we rode what we wanted to ride there and went to Hollywood. Dinner was great … Shirley had the Cobb salad, which is excellent if you’re in the mood for salad. I had the filet.

Sometimes, eating late bothers my system … in other words, I had an upset stomach … I went to the bathroom and tossed my filet … Ok, Ok, I puked.

We left the park and were waiting for the bus to Saratoga Springs. By the way, I hope I never stay at that resort! I puked a couple times while waiting. Do you know how long it takes those busses to show up? Anyway, now we’re on the bus … I think he took the long way to Saratoga. While approaching the first stop, the driver said pay attention to where you’re staying because there are several stops inside this resort. GREAT, we’re not staying here. We just want to walk across the street to our hotel – The Buena Vista Palace Hotel and Spa. We highly recommend this place … it’s fantastic. They have two pools and a couple restaurants, a spa and a great rental car office where you can rent really cool Nissan’s. Anyway …..

I looked at Shirley and said we gotta get off this bus, I’m about to puke again. BIG Mistake. Did you know it’s about a mile and a half from the back of Saratoga to the front?

Here we are walking from one building to the other looking for the main. After a couple more upchucks, we saw a map. Some of you may remember my map reading skills. We traced where we were to where we needed to be …. Sound familiar?

Here’s where the trek begins.

We walked down a sidewalk until it ended … finally found a building with a bathroom. You know why we were looking. After another sidewalk ended we walked down a dark street that led to another sidewalk that ended at a flowerbed. We had been walking toward the top of our hotel that could be seen over the majestic southern pines lit in Disney neon.

“There it is,” I shouted while pointing at the main building. The only thing standing between us and freedom from this Saratoga Jungle was the massive flower bed. I went first … after all; I’m the tracking-direction expert. Ten steps in we realized the bushes were kinda pointy … holly bushes. Man, those things hurt. Shirley followed with Delaney and Ashlyn behind. Uphill through the flowery maze of the Disney-manicured prickly topiaries ….. Finally to an opening in the jungle – an expansive clearing stretching for hundreds of yards. FREEDOM just before the main building ….. I think it was the fourth hole. That’s right; we’re standing on a tee box.

As Washington proudly crossed the Delaware, we crossed the Saratoga golf course. I wish they had put that on the map! Lewis and Clark would be proud. Well ….. maybe Clark Griswold …..
Finally, we made it to our hotel … after the mile and a half romp. We left Hollywood Studios at 9 pm … it’s now close to midnight. Aren’t you exhausted? Were ready to go back … to Disney, not Saratoga!

By the way …. On day two, we found out our hotel ran a shuttle to the parks. We tried it and that night they dropped us at the front door of our hotel. Never listen to a Disney bus driver. Shirley suggested we ride the hotel shuttle on day one but what does she know about navigation?

Oops, I almost forgot … the battery in our Honda Pilot was dead when we tried to leave Orlando. And …. Be careful ordering Happy Meals in Tallahassee …. These are stories for another day.