Don't Answer the Phone

Whatever you do ….. don’t answer the phone!!!!!

As you begin reading this chapter of my travel story, please keep this number in mind – 3,107. Repeat it in your mind over and over. 3,107, 3,107, 3,107 …. Don’t forget.

On April 15th I drove from Richardson, TX (Dallas) to Mobile, AL. I had been working in Richardson and was on the way home for Spring Break. Yes, I still get a Spring break! After making it home, we left the next day for Disney World. You may have read the last chapter which included the Saratoga Saga. If you haven’t read it, it’s a classic. Along the same line as my DFW airport experience. It’s also a classic. Anyway, we left Disney and drove back to Mobile. A couple days later, I left for Rock Hill, SC. Apparently, they had a big hail storm and the big guns were needed. OK, maybe not the big guns …. just a place for me to be out of the spotlight. You know they don’t like it when I surface for too long.

The only thing weird about Rock Hill was that I was told I’d be there for a while so I took Turtle – that’s what Shirley named our camper. I think it’s because I travel slow with my house behind me. The campground was part of the former Heritage USA property Jim and Tammy Faye owned. You can still see the castle and Roman-style amphitheatre they built. There was also a replica of the Upper Room and we were told God made His presence known more on this property than any other – I didn’t get that vibe.

So much for being there long – five days later I was off to Durham, NC. Why? Once again, the big guns were needed. Well actually, I wore out my welcome in Rock Hill faster than ever before. It usually takes much longer. So here I go …. Further under the radar. Durham is in the middle of the basketball capitol of the world …. Duke, UNC, Wake Forest, NC State .. all within a few miles. I did get the opportunity to tour Duke’s campus. Way cool! So much for staying here a while – four days in Durham and I’m off to Birmingham.

Pack up the Turtle and head south … to Birmingham. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. What happened you ask? One word – Tony! Some of you know what that means. While cruising through Spartanburg, SC, he called. Have you ever had the feeling you shouldn’t answer a phone call? I had that feeling after I answered. Don’t go to Birmingham … go to Chattanooga. Did you know that according to most GPS units, the best way to get from Spartanburg to Chattanooga is to take I-26 to Asheville, NC? So I’m off …. to Asheville. Did you know there is a large mountain range between Asheville and Knoxville? It’s called the Great Smoky Mountains!!!!! That’s right, the Smoky Freakin Mountains ….. you know, the million feet high mountains. How come my GPS didn’t include that on the map? Don’t you think that’s important information? I am pulling a Turtle, you know. Stupid little box who talks in a weird voice! I hate you!

Anyway, enough about my GPS. Do you know how tough it is to pull a camper up those mountains? If you don’t … it’s hard. A couple times I thought I was about to stop and roll backward. Wouldn’t that have been funny? So I was just plugging along and all the sudden we went to one lane. Do you know how many 18 wheelers go through the Smokey Mountains? Hundreds, maybe thousands. And they were all in front of me! One lane through some gorge … 26 miles of straight up rock with signs reading Watch Falling Rocks. Oh great, that’s all I need! Mountains collapsing on my Turtle. One lane over the mountains took over an hour and a half. So my 9 hour drive to Birmingham turned into an 11 ½ hour drive to Chattanooga. All because I answered the phone.

Now you understand the significance of the number 3,107 – That’s how many miles I’ve driven since leaving Richardson. Here’s how it went – Richardson, TX to Mobile, AL to Disney World, FL to Mobile, AL to Rock Hill, SC to Durham, NC to Spartanburg, SC to Asheville, NC to Knoxville, TN to Chattanooga, TN. Did I mention I hate mountains? And gorge’s and talking idiot boxes on my windshield and answering you know who’s phone calls. Oh and I also hate leaving NC and going to SC only to go back to NC in order to get to TN. Did you know the Cherokee National Forest is in NC and TN? I drove through it in both …. I hate that place! Stupid Cherokee’s … why do you have to have such a big forest?

Been in Chattanooga three days now ….. bout time to move aga …… OH NO, he’s calling again!