Proud American . . . . . .

A few months ago I was called for jury duty. Monday morning I showed up at the Mobile County Courthouse ready to exercise my civic duty. It was a proud day to be an American as I eagerly anticipated having the opportunity to listen to oral arguments from opposing attorneys. I was excited to think about hearing evidence and listening to the judge guide us through the process of exercising the rule of law. Justice, honor, power, fairness, innocent until proven guilty, these are a few of the guiding principles that have shaped the greatest nation on earth. This is the part when you should let the National Anthem play in the background of your head. Just imagine your favorite singer beautifully leading the Star Spangled Banner. I was proud . . . . . . And then I walked into the courthouse. I stood in line for thirty minutes to get through the metal detectors. I was horrified when I realized I was in line with criminals. That’s right, sports fans; they made me stand in line with over one hundred criminals. There were drug dealers, thugs, thieves, murderers, rapists, drunk drivers and every other creepy crawly vermin. We were packed into elevators and herded to the eighth floor to sit in what I thought was the jury assembly room.

Much to my surprise, the criminals I stood in line with walked into the jury room. Something had to be wrong. Thinking I had mistakenly been taken to the county holding tank, I asked the bailiff if I was in the right room. "Bailiff, oh Mr. Bailiff," I said as I waved my juror summons in his face. "This can’t be the juror assembly room, can it?"

He assured me that everyone in the room had been summoned to serve as jurors. Great, I thought, I must be the only person in the room with a real job. Okay, I don’t have a real job either but that’s not important right now. Hey, did you know that sometimes the judge will excuse you from jury duty if you are waiting for your own trial to start? Yes, that’s right there was someone in the room who was a juror and a defendant. Only in America! By the way, the bailiff wasn’t amused. He stood still without cracking a smile. I tried to stare at him with the same intensity. Finally, I said, "maybe it would be better if we ignored each other until you go away!" He didn't like that either! Make a mental note - NEVER joke around with a man wearing a badge and carrying a gun.

I was fortunate to be one of the thirty-two out of three hundred who were chosen to stay all week. It was exciting. We showed up every morning and read the newspaper, drank coffee, worked crossword puzzles and ate breakfast. Now I know what thugs do during the day. They deal, kill and steal at night and serve the court by day. Oh wait, that’s the attorneys.

Fasting With Muslims! WHAT?

Catching up on recent news and came across an article in the USAToday that ran about a week ago. It was about the Muslim holy month of Ramadan and a couple Christians who decided to fast together for the sake of unity and spiritual growth. In order to really understand this, we need a quick history lesson. Muslims believe Muhammad fasted during Ramadan and received his first vision leading to the writing of the Quran. As Christians, we know Islam is a false religion that leads its followers away from God. Just so you know, Allah is NOT the name of Jehovah God. Jehovah is the only true God and Islam teaches the opposite. I am appalled that Christians would deceive Muslims by giving them the false sense of security their religious practices are meaningful or spiritual.

Loving your neighbor is our command. Engaging in false religious practices for the sake of unity is not love. Our command from Jehovah is to speak the truth in love. We cannon keep that command by engaging in religious practices contrary to that outlined in the Bible.

Here’s another issue. The two Christians mentioned are leaders. One is pastor of a church in Washington. He is fasting with a Muslim partner. In the article the pastor is quoted as saying believes in Jesus but only God has the authority to decide who goes to Hell. Are you kidding me? This guy pastors a Church of Christ church and he doesn’t know how someone goes to Heaven or Hell. Go read the article! You can find it on the USAToday website - search for Muslims Find New Fasting Partners. God clearly delivered His message in the Bible. You know, the book HE wrote. Adrian Rogers once said if he had to condense the Bible to two words, they would be: Jesus Saves.

Another church leader mentioned in the article is Brian McLaren. He is one of the leaders of the Emergent church movement. You may want to do some research on this group. McLaren has made some outrageous statements surrounding the topic of unity and merging world religious beliefs together. This is a scary thought. Christianity is different from all world religions in that Jesus rose from the grave.

Merging false religious practices with true Christian beliefs is a mockery of Jesus’ death. It is deceitful to Muslims or others who need to hear the truth in love.

There I was, stuck in Orlando, FL with 5 RV's and 4 drivers in the fall of 2008. There were several tropical storms and hurricanes threatening FL and the Gulf Coast. If I remember right Hurricane Gustav was already in the Gulf, TS Hanna was threatening FL and Ike had made his presence known in the Atlantic. My responsibility was to sit in Orlando and wait, along with a fleet of RV's. Late one afternoon we got the call to drive north and follow TS Hanna as she approached the Carolina coast. Even though she wasn't a major threat, we wanted to be prepared.

Our convoy started and we headed north from Orlando. It was close to 8 pm when we left so we drove as far north as we could. We were somewhere in GA, close to the SC state line when we decided to stop for the night. Someone in our group had the bright idea that spending the night in a WalMart parking lot was a good idea. I should have known - I've been to that store during the day! I know what Hemingway must have thought at 3 am when the pack of wild cats started meowing! 30 cats in heat can make the most awful noise in the world. Needless to say, I was awake. So when you're stuck at WalMart at 3 am not able to sleep, what should you do? You guessed it. I went shopping. What a mistake. Have you ever wondered where those people who have 12 inch tall spiked mohawks hangout? We see them on TV and occasionally out and about, but I've always wondered where they work or hangout! Yep! You guessed it! They hangout at WalMart. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying they're all vampires but have you ever seen one during the day? I didn't think so. Good news is that I was able to catch a sale on milk, toothpaste, garden hoses, a bike and a good DVD player. I didn't need any of them but I couldn't pass up a good deal, right?

Speaking of vampires, I think Nancy Pelosi is one! Look at her teeth the next time you see her mouth open. Don't pay attention to whatever stupid sentence is coming out of her mouth, just look at her teeth. She's one of them. I know it! And Richard Dreyfus is too! All this vampire talk reminds me of a children's sermon I did once on Vampires, Mummies and the Holy Ghost. Talk about scaring some kids into salvation! They were running all over the church looking for their parents! Needless to say, after that message, I got a visit from the chairman of the personnel committee. That's another story. Enough vampire talk, I'm hungry and it's past breakfast time.

I was working in Diamond Bar, CA, outside of LA and decided to spend an evening on Hollywood Blvd and Sunset Strip. I made my way in and out of several famous places and eventually settled in the House of Blues. It was a slow night so I had the place t myself, except for the deputy sheriff that sat next to me at the bar. Crime must have taken the night off as well. We started talking and immediately he recognized I was not from Cali. What part of the south are you from was his question. Alabama was my response. Here's where it became interesting. He said he had just gotten back from vacation in AL. I assumed Gulf Shores or Orange Beach. I must have looked shocked when he replied, Mobile. Who is the world vacations in Mobile? Especially if you live in LA. Before you get too far ahead of me, of course me response was "WHY?" According to this guy in LA, Mobile has the best music festival in the country. Yes, that's right! He vacationed to Mobile to attend BayFest. How cool is that? He lives in the music capital of the world and he comes to Mobile to listen to a good festival. How weird is it that I sat in the House of Blues on Sunset Strip talking to a guy who had just visited my hometown. What are the odds?

That reminds me of a time I was working in Chicago. As soon as I introduced mysel to a man I met on the south side of town, he asked what part of AL I was from. How did you know I was from AL, I responded. You have the Bama accent. Mobile, I said. He was originally from Bham but had lived in Chicago for 20 years. I guess we really do live in a small world. And it's now smaller with instant global communication. Spend a little extra time with people you meet this week, you might just be the answer to their prayer. Saints win again!

I Had A Giant Hickey

Ok, I couldn't wait until tomorrow! Someone reminded me of a story from 13 years ago. I was student minister at a church in Port Arthur, TX and our daughter, Delaney was around 1. Like most fathers of little kids, I spend most of my time rolling on the floor playing with her toys. One particular day, we were playing and ... Have you ever seen one of those kids toys with the suction cups on one end? You know what I'm talking about. Delaney had one with some kind of rattle or ball on one end and a three inch suction cup from Hell on the other. At the time it seemed like a good idea to ... BTW, don't ever lick a suction cup. It gives them superhero type strength. I stuck the toy to my forehead and let Delaney play. It was only on my head for a minute or two before I realized I made a serious error in judgment. Have you ever seen a three inch hickey? There I was at church the next day, probably preaching, with a giant hickey on my forehead. Good news is it only lasted about a week. I felt better when some dude about 50 told me he did the same thing when his kid was about Delaney's age. Thanks for reminding me of another laugh at my expense.

Red Rover, Red Rover Send .....

Thursday already? Where has the week gone? For some reason I was thinking about the church I attended as a child, FB Chickasaw. I remember many Sunday nights closing the service with the pastor asking everyone to hold hands and sing a song about unity. Some of you may remember the song. I remember getting in trouble once because as we were about to sing I felt a sudden urge, something strong and defiant rising up in my spirit. Those of you who know me well know when this happens it's never good! With the soft church organ playing in the background, I shouted "Red rover, red rover, send the preacher right over!" Now that caused a butt whipping I'll never forget. Not sure why I'm writing about this but it seemed appropriate. I also remember the two most important things I was taught as a child: 1. Always wash your hands after using the bathroom (with soap) and 2. Brush your teeth twice daily.

Here's something else to think about. Remember when God was chatting with Moses through the flaming azalea bush? He told Moses to throw his staff on the ground. It was changed into a snake. Sounds kinda Criss Angel but this one wasn't an illusion. What happened next? Moses picked it up and it became a staff again. Did you know that almost every time after this event Moses' staff was called the staff of God? Look it up! I'm not kidding. WOW! That's significant. Our spiritual application is this: God asks us to put down whatever we are holding (our staff). Once we are willing to let Him have control He is able to change us. Then He gives it back to us and it belongs to Him. I hope this doesn't sound too confusing but God takes what we give Him, molds it into something useful, gives it back and with it we are able to perform great miracles. That's what God told Moses. "Use this staff to perform great signs and miracles."

If you're holding onto anything maybe you should give it to God and allow Him to do the changing. That reminds me of something Jesus said to the people standing around watching while He raised Lazarus. Maybe I'll write about that next time. Don't forget to wash your hands and maybe play Red Rover this afternoon.

DON'T SPANK YOUR KIDS

My parents didn't believe in spanking! I'm sure you're thinking, "well that's what happened." Don't judge them! They did what they thought was right in the eyes of the Lord. No spanking! My grandfather was a cop so he had access to all kinds of cool gadgets. My parents were the first to have a handheld taser! You guessed it, no spanking but when we got out of line it was electrocution time! I still remember saying something sarcastic to my mom and from nowhere, out of the blue, my dad zapped me from behind. With my body convulsing on the floor, and my mom saying "hit him again!" I realized some things just aren't worth it. So it you're having problems with your kids, let me know. I'll send you the info to order your very own taser. Three easy payments of $29.95.

Woo Hoo! I have arrived. I’m sure most of you have missed me but we’ll talk about that later. Most of you have been on FB, Blogging or Twitter for some time now. I’m relatively new to this whole networking thing. It’s been great to catch up and see how many of my old friends spent more time in jail than me. In reconnecting, I’ve been flooded with memories from the past which have prompted these random thoughts from the fringe.

Even though I graduated high school in 1986, 1985 was the best year. Most of the memories had faded but are now back – mainly due to my daily dose of prozac. My plans were simple back then. Dreams of running sound for Motley Crue and Whitesnake or producing music videos for the Chili Peppers still dance in my head. Remember when MTV still played videos? We had Madonna long before Nirvana. I still remember when my now 12 year old daughter (Ashyln) discovered my old Ramones CD’s a couple years ago. I’m a good parent; stop judging! Just because she sang Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue in line at Target one day doesn’t mean I’m not! Listening to Limp Bizkit isn’t the same as Duran Duran.

I’m shocked that my favorite 80’s movies are now classics. I can still quote lines from the Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, St. Elmo’s Fire, Porky’s and Fast Times at Ridgmont High. That reminds me of the time when my other daughter, (Delaney) who is now 14, was 5. She playfully asked me to have a seat on the edge of her bed and close my eyes. Right then I should have known. Parents, NEVER close your eyes in front of your kids! It’s a trap! With my eyes closed waiting for something fun and playful, I felt the harsh, brutal thud from her hard suitcase slam into my forehead. Even 5 year olds can sling things hard enough to knock adults into next week.

There I was laid out about to lose consciousness when I heard her 5 year old voice say, “Say hello to my little friend.” In my dazed condition I was horrified and proud at the same time. My daughter quoted Scarface – at 5! She even added the Cuban accent. What a moment! Laid out with my forehead about to explode; listening to her shout! I guess in her mind it was funny! Come to think of it, I think it was her grandmother’s fault! She gave my daughter an old hard suitcase. One of those every grandparent has in their attic from the 1940’s. Hey grandparents, listen up! Grandchildren are not your opportunity to get revenge on your children! Stop it! It’s not funny!

Anyway, back to 1985. Springsteen and Van Halen were blowing us away long before Jay Z and Beyonce. Even Christian music was wild back in the day. Remember Mylon LeFevre and Broken Heart? What about Bryan Duncan, Charlie Peacock or Stryper? How could we forget Petra or DeGarmo and Key? Do you remember that White Heart’s original lead singer was Steve Green? What? Are you kidding? Just thought about David and the Giants and Steve Taylor.

Oh well, with snakeskin min skirts, wayfarer sunglasses, collars turned up, parachute pants, big hair and all; the 80’s still rule!

God provides strength for the journey. By now, you have realized the Christian life is a marathon not a sprint. If you’re like me, sometimes you lose sight of that. Things happen that distract us from our focus. Sometimes, the distractions are spiritual victories not problems or difficulties. Take Elijah for example, in I Kings 18, he gained a huge spiritual victory. This is the story of his challenge to Baal’s prophets for a showdown. The altars were built and sacrifices made. You know the rest of the story; God consumed Elijah’s sacrifice showing everyone God was God. Following this victory, Elijah learned Jezebel put out a contract for his death. I’m not sure if a Sopranos style hit was ordered but Elijah feared for his life. He skipped town and hid in the wilderness.

Chapter 19

5. Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep. All at once an angel touched him and said, "Get up and eat."
6. He looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.
7. The angel of the LORD came back a second time and touched him and said, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you."

8. So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God.

Check this out! Following his spiritual victory and subsequent retreat, God provided much needed nourishment. In verse 6, the meal was to replenish Elijah from what he had lost during the spiritual battle. In verse 7, God does something amazing. He provides a second meal. “The journey is too much for you.” The second meal wasn’t to replenish, it was for provision for where Elijah was going! God provides nourishment for where we have been but more importantly, He provides for where we are going. All too often we are like Elijah trying to make the journey in our own strength. It is too much for us.

Whether you have faced a spiritual valley or climbed a spiritual mountain, God will provide what you need for the journey! If you caught that, you need to call somebody; forget that, maybe you should text somebody or tweet somebody. This should be all over your wall! The God who hung the moon and scattered the stars cares enough about us to take us on a journey and He is the provision for where we are going.

The House

In 1858, Abraham Lincoln accepted the presidential nomination for the Republican Party. In his acceptance speech, he quoted Matthew 12:25, using the phrase A house divided cannot stand. He was referring to the United States being divided over states rights. In thinking about a divided house from Matthew's point of view, we need to take a look at the Hebrew culture of his day. His readers were mostly Jewish and they understood his metaphor deeply. The House must be understood in terms of its importance in Jewish culture. Remember, it was the placing of sacrificial blood on their houses that spared them as the Death Angel passed over in Egypt. In the Old Testament, God was in the House (Tabernacle/Temple) dwelling in the Holy of Holies, as evidenced by the ark of the covenant. In the New Testament, God was out of the House - manifested in Jesus Christ. The physical embodiment of God's presence. Following the resurrection of Christ and the coming of the Holy Spirit, WE BECAME THE HOUSE. Think about it - God was in the House, out of the House and now because the Holy Spirit dwells within all believers, WE ARE THE HOUSE! An amazing transformation has occured over time and we are the recipients of an amazing gift - to become the actual dwelling place (House) of the Spirit of God!

Water, Water Everywhere

This may get lengthy but hang on until the end and you will be blessed. Trust me, I'm not a doctor and I don't play on on TV but if you hang on for the ride, God will show you something kool! Remember the epic poem, Rime of the Ancient Mariner? The famous phrase "Water, water everywhere without a drop to drink." Over 70% of the world is covered with water. It is the basic element necessary to sustain life. No wonder Jesus said He was the water of life. Classic literature is filled with metaphors about characters who transform after they struggle with water. Think about it - Moby Dick, Huckleberry Finn, The Old Man and the Sea, A River Runs Through It. Even Deliverance! I just had to throw that one in. Famous stories revolving in or around the transforming power of water. That's why water baptism is used as a symbol of new life! Hang on, we're getting to the good stuff. What's the most famous water story of all time? It has to be the world wide great flood, right? Noah's Ark as we were taught as children. The real story behind the flood is that God made a way for man to be saved. Catch this, no pun intended, The Bible starts and ends with references to water. Genesis 1:2 And the Spirit moved over the face of the waters.In Rev. 22, the final chapter is full of references to the river of life. Are you wondering why the Book starts and ends with water? Yea, me too. Read Psalm 84 and you might get an answer. Verse 6 says that as they traveled through the Valley of Baca (Tears), they made it a place of springs or wells. The rain fell from above and they made it from strength to strength. Go get your Bible and read it! Now, go read it now! Here's the story and application: This Psalm was written by David while hiding from Absolam. He watched travelers make their way to Jerusalem while walking through the dry valley of Baca. There was no water except the wells dug by other travelers. They survived by making it from well to well. Here's the spiritual application for us today. No matter what difficulty you are facing today, someone else has already been there. Hopefully, they dug a well for you to gain strength to make it a little further on your journey. That's what Christians do for each other! We help each other make it from strength to strength or well to well. If you're stuck in a dry valley today, DIG A WELL. God will provide the rain to fill up the springs. Isn't it kool to know the refreshing water comes from above? The well you dig will help you today and someone else tomorrow. So what are we to do? Simple, grab a shovel and start digging. We are all on a journey similar to that of the two snails that made it to the ark! Think about it. What a picture of perseverance for the Christian life. Two snails actually made it to the ark. What a adventure that must have been for those two determined creatures? Plant yourself in a well, gain strength, move to another well and persevere on the journey like those two little snails. Why does God use water as a powerful metaphor for life? Because he likes to fish, duh!

OMLWSWD

OMLWSWD

I Kings 6:15 – Elisha’s servant left the city and saw a great army had encircled the city. Their lives were in danger. In fear, he shouted, “Oh my lord, what shall we do?” Today we might say something like “Oh my God, what am I gonna do?” Sound familiar? Too many times we look in the face of a crisis and wonder what are we gonna do. Wouldn’t it be more effective to approach a crisis, problem or difficult situation by believing God is in control? Read on to verse 16 – Elisha said do not fear for those with us out number those against. Verse 17 – The servant’s eyes were opened and he saw angels with flaming chariots outnumbering the bad guys! Wow! Even though he could not see God’s provision, God provided salvation. What an amazing picture of God’s love for us. No matter what we face, God is in control. He has made a way for our protection.

Sometimes we may feel trapped in our situation. Maybe it seems hopeless? It isn’t. Remember the movie The Lion King? There was a powerful scene that illustrates God’s provision for Elisha and us. The scene took place when young Simba convinced Nala to go to the edge of the land to explore the elephant graveyard. If you remember, the hyenas cornered Simba and Nala. The young cubs were backed into a corner with the situation seeming hopeless; their backs literally against the mountain with no where to go. With the hyenas approaching, Simba let out his most ferocious kitty cat sounding roar. His road was so pathetic the hyenas laughed. Sounds like us, huh? We allow the enemy to back us into a corner and when we roar in our own strength, he laughs. The most significant part of the scene happens while the hyenas are laughing. Young Simba roars again; this time a thunderous, ferocious road is heard while Simba’s mouth is open. Even he is surprised at the sound. It wasn’t Simba, it was Mufasa – the king. He spoke for his young son. Mufasa had Simba’s back. WOW! Did you catch that? When we are backed into a corner, and the Devil is laughing, God roars on our behalf. His thunderous roar sends the enemy cowering. As Simba and the hyenas heard Mufasa’s roar; we hear God’s voice speak through us.

No matter what you’re facing; how hopeless it may seem; God is in control. He will speak for you! OMLWSWD? What are we going to do? Let God be God and trust that He has your back!