Love Going Postal

We’ve all heard the phrase going postal. Maybe, you’ve even gone postal a time or two – screaming at your spouse, kids, dogs, etc. Going postal took on a new meaning for me the other day while standing in line to buy stamps. Since two people were in line ahead of me, I patiently waited my turn. Due to the fact the postal payment system is complicated or the postal worker was stupid, I stood in line for a while - a long while. Glancing from bulletin board to bulletin board, I noticed several interesting posters and notices.

The top ten most wanted poster caught my eye – no I’m not on it! While looking at the missing persons posters, I thought of a few people I’d like to see on one of them – Britney Spears, Keanu Reeves, the entire LSU football team and the Clinton’s.

One poster really captured my attention. It was the cartoon image of things you cannot mail. At the top, the headline read: Some Things Aren’t Meant to be Mailed. The cartoon included the usual suspects: paint, poison, flammable liquids, hazardous materials, gasoline and rockets. Yes, you heard right! ROCKETS! I’m sure you’ve been turned away from your postal counter trying to mail gasoline or poison but have you ever tried mailing a rocket? It seems to me some things are obvious. According to NASA, the Saturn and Ares rockets are over 300 feet tall. Wow! Can you see that strapped to the top of a mail carrier truck?

Usually warning signs, product instructions and Do Not posters are in place because sometime in the not so distant past, some fool tried what you’re being warned against. This means someone actually tried mailing a rocket! Must have been an Ohio State grad or an Aggie! Here’s the scene: A NASA engineer at Cape Canaveral needed to get a rocket to the Space Center in Houston. Can you imagine the conversation? I’m sure it ended with, “Can’t we just mail it to Houston?” I bet even a government employee can get fired for being that stupid!

Next to the post office is a helicopter plant. Leaving, I noticed a large 18-wheel, flatbed truck turning into the plant. You guessed it; he was hauling what looked like part of a rocket. OK, it was a helicopter. Even though it’s not on the list, I bet you can’t mail them either.